How I found the right balance after returning to work from maternity leave

My husband and I have been blessed with four energetic and beautiful boys who challenge my resilience daily but, more importantly, bring me joy and fun.

My eldest is now eight years old and my other three are four, two and one. It’s a very loud and busy house!

My career as an engineer has focused on the transport industry.

I’ve worked on projects in rural and urban environments aiming to improve how people connect and move around Northern Ireland.

Since joining Arup in 2008, I’ve been very lucky with the teams I've worked with and the leaders who have mentored me.

Finding out about my first child

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I was excited, but also apprehensive about how my career might be impacted following a one-year period of maternity leave.

Some of the questions I had included:

• Would I still be as ambitious and motivated as an engineer when I return?
• Would I miss out on opportunities because I wasn’t about?
• Would I forget everything I’d learned?
• What if I didn’t want to go back and leave my baby?

My place in the team

The support provided by Arup was incredible.

When I broke the news of my pregnancy to my boss, he was so delighted for my husband and I.

It settled a lot of the concerns I had about my place in the team and my future as a working mum.

He reflected on his own experience of becoming a father.

And he told me we could work together upon my return to see what work-life balance looked like for me post maternity leave.

Going on maternity leave

I describe myself as a strong and resilient person but having a baby could be likened to an eight-ish pound bomb (albeit a cute one) being thrown into your life!

You’re expected to cope with little sleep and no previous experience of babies!

I rolled my sleeves up like all new mums do and found a way through the sleepless nights, painful breastfeeding, nappies and reflux!

The moments of pure joy sprinkled into your maternity leave are magical and I loved having that time to bond with Ethan.

People say it a lot, but it’s dedicated time you will never have again with your child. I never regretted taking the full year’s allowance of maternity leave.

Returning to work for the first time

When it came to returning to work, I felt Ethan and I were ready.

I used a few keeping in touch (KIT) days towards the end of my maternity leave to help me plan the transition from full-time mum to working mum. My KIT experiences varied from:

• online teams check-ins with my line manager;
• meeting for coffee with my team leader; and
• connecting with the team I mentor through ICE professional development pathways.

These days were very useful and provided time to talk about my aspirations when returning to work.

My return included a hybrid work arrangement where I worked two days from home.

This was pre-pandemic, and hybrid working wasn’t the norm.

I used my accrued leave to go back to a four-day week to ease myself back into work and transition Ethan into his new childcare setting.

Feeling like my old self

I found returning to work refreshing – it almost felt like a break!

Don’t get me wrong, I stepped right back into a busy project management role on a £100m highway project.

But being in control of my own timetable, reconnecting with my fellow engineers and being able to have lunch in peace was lovely.

I felt like my old self again.

What role did the ICE play?

During maternity leave, you can’t help but feel disconnected from the world of work and the wider industry.

But I made the effort to attend the annual ICE dinner which allowed me to reconnect with colleagues and peers and think about life after maternity leave.

As technical talks moved online due to Covid, I was able to join these when possible – sometimes with my newborn in my arms – to keep in touch and learn about developments in the industry.

And, upon returning to work from my first maternity leave, I became involved in developing and delivering the Girlguiding ICE initiative.

This was a lovely way to promote civil engineering as a career and reconnect with fellow female engineers, many who were starting families as well.

Going on maternity leave again

I ended up having three more boys very close together (2020, 2021 and 2023).

The returns following Noah and Isaac (my second and third boys) felt very different, as I was already pregnant, so it was only for a few months.

But even though I was only back for a relatively short period, it didn’t stop me wanting to be impactful in work and drive for continuous improvement.

Time spent away isn’t lost time

I was promoted from senior engineer to associate in 2019, and to associate director in 2023.

This shows that having children and taking time off doesn’t necessarily stall your career.

My boss was absolutely clear that the time spent away from the business wasn’t ‘lost time’.

Rather, it’s time spent developing useful skills for civil engineering – patience, resilience, time management and multi-tasking.

I feel that motherhood teaches us so much that can be offered back to the industry to help deliver projects successfully.

That my boss understood this instilled a new level of empowerment in me upon my return.

Read more: How we kickstarted a network to help parents in construction find work-life balance

What has changed?

My priorities will always be with my family and supporting the boys through each milestone.

I won't compromise on missing first days at school, nativity performances or taking time to care for them if they’re sick.

Arup is a human-centric organisation and because they understand and support my life outside of work, they will get the best of me at work!

What hasn’t changed?

I’m still a highly ambitious and determined engineer.

Having kids has fueled my desire to improve the infrastructure around us to shape the world they will grow up in.

I want to be a role model for other women coming through the industry and show you can ‘have it all’.